Friday, April 29, 2005

Rough Day

Well I have been here for exactly a week in my new Today was really rough, I'm bored, lonely, homesick and all that stuff you really don't ever want to admit. I can't wait for school to start next week, is driving me crazy being here and not really meeting people. I feel more alone here than I did in China, pretty sad huh? But in China people were expecting me and were kind of assigned to show me around. Happy my sister is still kind of close, and we can talk on the phone for free so she calls just about every day to check up on me. Its funny how close we have grown over the years. You would never of expected us to have this kind of relationship and friendship 8 years or so ago. We couldn't stand each other, things were pretty bad between us for many years. But now I can't imagine not having her to talk to and share things with. Shes just been so much more than a big sister to me, and I don't think I could ever thank her enough. And to top it off she married one of the best guys I know so now I have an awesome brother-in-law to.

I'm sure some of these feelings will fade a bit once school starts and I get in to the swing of things.

I don't know...its just a rough day, going to go and watch a dvd and eat some popcorn.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Boring Day

Well not much is really going on around here. School doesn't start for another week, well orientation starts next week, so I've just been haning out catching up on some reading and what not. Trying not to do too much exploring because most things around here cost money and well I'm trying to save what little I have left so I've been going for walks alot.

On Tuesday my roommate, a friend of hers and I went to Santa Barbara for a little bit...they wanted to show me around, which was really nice of them. She likes to go dancing at the night clubs there on State Street...Salsa dancing to be exact. State Street reminds me of Boston a bit, with all the cool stores and coffee shops. Then we came back to Ventura and had lunch at a Thai resturant (not as good as Thai Cha Da!) and walked around a bit. I found a cool little hippieish/Brattleboro Vermont kind of store and made me feel at home. She invited me to go to a Cuban festival on Sunday with her and some friends...I'm sure I have nothing going on so I'll probably end up going...only problem, un lingual!

On the way to Santa Barbara we drove past La Conchita where the mudslides happend. It was weird and amazing to see first hand the effects of a mudslied...and I'm sure seeing it happen first hand is completely different. Along some of the highway you could see people still cleaning up from it, and the remains of some houses, and also how close other houses are/were to being destroyed. Some houses we drove past, I'm sure if you looked out their back windows all you would see is a huge mountain of mud, what a scary thought and place to live after all that. Don't worry everyone, I'm not that close to any mountains or hills.

I was feeling a bit homesick (yes I admit it) tonight so I figured I would watch a dvd, and what dvd could make me smile at a time like this? Good old, Never Been Kissed! Meig it's not the same watching it with out you but still funny as all get out. "Whats your name?" "Jjjosie" "JOSE?", "Josie Geller". "Yes you are a guy, quite a guy, oh my that rhymed. Yikes! Bikes!" "Are you in special ed?" "No, really are you?"

Well I guess that is is for now, I'm going to go and read some more and probably head to bed...exciting life huh?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Happy Birthday Dad



I just wanted to let you know how much I love and miss you. Sorry I can't be there to share your birthday with you, I think this is the first one I have missed in 23 years. Thank you so much for all of your support and encouragement with everything I have done in life especially this...I know how much this schooling means to you. And we both know how hard it is for us to be this far apart (even if we are both to stubborn to admit it), but remember its still closer than China! Thank you for seeing this dream and desire in me all those years ago and buying me my first camera (and everyone after that, hahaha). I'll do my best to make you proud and get the "one picture" someday. Thank you for being my support and rock in this and pushing me to take the next step, I think with out you I wouldn't of even applied and risked it all. And yes someday I will come along and document one of your trips for you, I promise. I really miss you and love you so much. I hope you have a better day from when I talked to you this morning.

Happy Birthday
Love your little girl (get a keeper for me!)

Monday, April 25, 2005

The rundown

In China I was soo good at keeping one of these updated but this time, not so much, I'm sorry. Once my internet is actually fully functioning, I promise I will do better on keeping this updated more often.

Ok so here is the run down from the last time I posted, (think it was Monday the 18th):
My first friday, I forgot what we did...and still can't really remember, but I know Luke came over for dinner, we had Orange Chicken from Trader Joe' was awesome. And then on Saturday night I hung out with Ryan and Jenny, we went out to eat and then to see Fever Pitch, which was pretty good by the way.

Ok so Tuesday, I think is the day that I went to Dance class with was pretty good time. So many interesting people out here its crazy. We went and did our laundry. Then tuesday night Sara and I went to the farmer's market and had dinner down there...the best Calimari ever. Then we had coffee, so good.

Wednesday, man I can't remember what we did on Wednesday, and it hasn't even been a week.

Thursday, went and had lunch with Alicia and Jonathan, he is so cute. We went for a walk along the coast near lovers point, and its just beautiful there. I had been there twice but both times were in November so this time eveything was in bloom, and it was blankets of purple! Just truly beautiful and amazing. Then Thursday night was College and Career at Jason K's place again. I made dinner for everyone, because I wanted to say thank you to all of them for being so wonderful and nice. Sara and Jay's group of friends are truly amazing peole and such a blessing to me. They are all so very encouraging, supportive and genuine. I made steak and salsa for dinner and everyone seemed to like it, so thats good I guess. Although I have yet to meet anyone who hasn't liked it. I got to talk and pray with Jenny, wich was really neat because I have heard so much about her but finally got to meet her this time, and its kind of weird and funny how much we are alike. I guess your name says quite a bit about you.

Friday, was the big move down to Ventura! I'm finally here. I'm renting a room from a lady named Debbie who is really nice. I have a room and share a bathroom with another girl who goes to Ventura College, and shes pretty nice. Sara and Jay moved me in and then Jay wen to a bachalor party in L.A. for his friend Andrew, so it was me and Sara for Friday and Saturday. The neighborhood reminds me of something from the wonder years show...its so nice and quiet and safe.

Saturday-Sunday, We ummm went exploring! I'm about three blocks from the mall...which is huge! about three blocks the other way to the grocery store, and some other things...not far from the bus stop. We figured out where on of the Brooks campuses was...well its in the middle of nowhere, but the bus goes there. And lets just say you don't want to walk there at night! Not to worry anyone, its just not the upscale section of town, but it will be fine. Jay came back early on Sunday morning, so we went shopping at wal-mart and the grocery store, and also went to church at Oxnard Calvary Chapel, wich is awesome! I really liked it there. Then we were on the hunt for a futon...there are about 10 stores around me that claim to seel futons, but they either didn't have any or were like $400.00. On Saturday, Sara and I found one for about $140.00 at Big Lots, but they were sold out on Sunday even though we asked if they had more in the back and they said they did...a lie, and they wouldn't sell us the display. So we called around to about 15 places and no one had anything...finally we found one!!!! its awesome, I love it, and its not the floor. But my room is now a room and its "me". I put my pictures up, set up my bed, got a rug, put my map of the world up and made it mine. Now I don't feel so out of place and lost. It was a pretty stressfull weekend, but all I know is nothing is easy if its what God wants me to do because if it was I wouldn't need him.

I got to talk with Becky last night which was awesome...I miss her so much. Thanks for calling me back!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!!! Sorry I'm not there to share this one with you but know I'm thinking about you. I miss you and love ya tons.

I'm having some issues with Webshots right now, so my pictures haven't been uploaded. I will let you know as soon as I get them posted for all of you to see, I'm sorry!

Monday, April 18, 2005

Sorry, its been a while

Sorry its been a while. Things are going great here, just haning out and relaxing mostly. Been getting stuff for my apartment/room. We are driving down to Ventura on Friday morning to move me in so I'm excited. Oh ya, I got a different place to live...much closer to the school so anyone that has the Oxnard address....please don't use that one. I'm going to be living in Ventura now.

Ok now for a recap of whats been going on: Landed here on Wednesday evening, and had a pretty strange fligh from Chicago to San Jose. I had a Monk and convict on the plane with me, and the guy next to me who is taller than Jason feel asleep on my sholder. But landed early so I made it to Sara and Jays about two hours earlier than expected. That was awesome because I got to hang out with them that night instead of just coming in and crashing right away. I got my lap top...I love this thing, still getting used to it but its awesome! Then on Thursday I went to class with Sara then we did some shopping for some things I'll need. Thursday night we went to their College and Career Group, so awesome. Got to see all their friends from the past two times and meet some more cool people. Friday...what did we do on Friday. Sara and Jay both had the day off but I can't really remember what we did, but Friday night Sara had a girls bible study at her place so I went to that and Jay went and hung out with the guys. Then Saturday we went and saw the Calvary Chapel High School's play for Fiddler on the Roof...AWESOME. You would never know that these were high school students. I was so impressed. Then Sunday we went to church, and after that went and had lunch with everyone, and just hung out for a bit then that night everyone came over for a movie night. And now we are on Monday.... Sara and Jay are at school, I'm uploading songs to itunes and going to go to Camera West and maybe Jamba Juice soon.

I'll try to keep this updated a little better as time goes on, sorry for such a dealy.

Hope all is well with everyone back home, I'll talk to you soon!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Gone Fishing...

Well not really because we forgot to pack the rods in the back of the truck, so instead we just spent the day taking pictures. We headed to the cape nice and early, went to Sandwich to the Board Walk and the beach. We found my board, but it hasn't been changed yet, should be done some time this summer. I won't be here to see it so dad will just have to go back and take a picture for me. Yesterday was so nice, and we had a great time just walking and talking. Went and ate at Sea Food Sam's, gotta love that place. Reminds me of being little and going there with Gramma Lu. (I'll post pictures on webshots soon, so keep checking)

On the way home we stopped at the Wrentham Outlets...that place is crazy, so many stores and no where to park! It took us about 15-20 minutes to find a place. I went and got some clothes from JCrew and checked out a few more stores that I could never afford, but it was fun.

Then it was off to the Club, dad wanted to ummmm go for a walk through the woods, like we did back in the day...really this was just his reason to get me to go to the Club where my "surprise" going away party was. But surprise...I knew all along, and hated the fact that I knew. I am the hardest and worst person to surprise (ask my sis). I felt so bad that I knew and did my best to hide it all this time.

It was awesome, dad and mom's families were there and a bunch of friends. Such a good time, but so hard to say goodbye.

And today, well it started off good. We went to cracker barrel for breakfast and did a little shopping. Then it went down hill...I HATE PACKING. I'm trying to fit most of my life in to two suit cases, and it sucks. I'm so afraid of bringing stuff I don't need and forgetting what I do need, and I really don't know what I need so its a bit hard. I've packed and unpacked about three times now, and I'm driving myself crazy.

Ok well so much to do so little time now...I'll update this soon and let you all know when I make to Cali all safe and sound.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Can't sleep

Well I can't sleep tonight. To much going on in my head right now. In about a week I fly to California...I'm excited but so scared at the same time. I didn't think it would be this hard to say goodbye and leave, but it is. Some times I'm so excited I can't stand it and others its like...what the heck am I doing? Giving up all that I know to just get up and move to a place where I know on one or nothing about. I'm just so comfortable here, its my life for the past four years or so. But change is good, we all need it, some more than others. I've wanted this for so long, but so afraid to fail. My mind is just going crazy lately. I know deep inside that everything will be fine once I get there and get settled...its going to take some time and I have a hard time with patience. Yes I will get lonely, but who doesn't? Yes I'll be said but its all part of life and just one more thing do deal with and learn from. But I will meet new people and enjoy school and life out there. I can't stay here for ever...if I do I'll never grow and experience new things. So here goes nothing I guess, its all on the line now... This is my second chance in a way.

Why me? Why me?
I have asked myself may times over the years
Why me?
Why did I trust, only to be betrayed?
Why did I love, only to be hurt?
I have held anger, frustration, resentment, and disgust towards you.
You left me broken, bruised, confused, feeling worthless and I ask you....Why me?
But I have been restored, made anew. I am beautiful, precious, and called to greater things.
So instead of asking Why me? I now say Thank you!
Thank you, for this has made me stronger, wiser, bolder and smarter.
Thank you.
"It's undeniable how brilliant you are, in an unreliable world you shine like a star...The One that I can't deny"