Friday, June 30, 2006

Bored

(c) jenny s manseau 2006

I'm bored...not just today but in general. Fell like I'm not pushing or challenging myself enough. Bored with myself. Bored with my photos. I took photos this weekend at a wedding and I actually liked them (who would of ever though I would admit that). As I'm working on these and uploading them I'm thinking...man I wish I did more like this. I usually stick to flowers...they don't argue with me, I don't have to pose them. But I think I should try more, just need to build up the confidence. Need to try I guess and not worry about failure...who am I trying to impress anyway?

Went for a walk on the beach last night...nice and relaxing. Feet in the water, camera in hand. Took a few photos, nothing to wonderful. Realized yesterday that I live so close to the water, yet never go...will work on chaning this. Sat on the beach for a while then headed home to pack for this weekend.

Off to Yosemite this weekend...only a few more hours then we're off.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Week

(c) jenny s manseau 2006

What a week it has been so far...
Friday night, the rehearsal dinner
Saturday, the wedding and about 800 photos. Beautiful wedding, tons of fun.
Sunday church...photo editing...church...sleep!
Monday- Tuesday, back to work...not much happening for the rest of the week.
Tuesday, had a small group of visitors from Korea come in and ask to take pictures, I thought they meant of them in the building, but they really wanted photos with me to show people back home! Oh it felt like I was back in China. Uploaded wedding photos. Had some good laughs this week.
Thursday, work again, money mission from wallet that I dropped on my way out the door Wednesday night!
Friday...hasn't come yet, but should be good...leaving for the weekend. Going up to Yosemite for the 4th!
My week in a nutshell

(wedding photos will be up soon on www.flickr.com/photos/jennyjene enjoy)

Monday, June 19, 2006

Belated Father's Day















Yesterday was father's day, the second one not being able to see my dad. It's weird not being there with him and spending the day together, but it was easier than last year anyway. I only got to talk to him on the phone for a little bit because he didn't have good reception. I was thinking about him a lot yesterday and all the memories that we have...hope you laugh and smile as much as I did as I remembered these Dad...

~When you played Jesus in the Godspell that the Joy Church put on.
~The time that our crazy neighbor's friends came looking for drugs and were knocking on our bedroom window and you came in with your shot gun to scare them away.
~The fake targets in our yard.
~Hanging turtles from the swing set and me experimenting with the turtles heart (it was beating in my hand and I thought if it was frozen then defrosted it would beat again...it didn't).
~The club (three day shoots with the coon skin cap, fishing, swimming, shooting our jeans).
~Vermont...our spot, Hogback Mountain, The Spiral Shop, Brattleboro, our sandwich place (which we still don't know the name of, but continue to call it "ours"), the army navy store, the barn with all the license plates.
~Tattoo's for father's day.
~John Cougar Mellencamp concert.
~When I was in girl scouts and wanted to wear those shorts that Aunt Luann bought me and you and mom said no but I wore them under my skirt anyway and they showed in all the pictures.
~Digging for nightcrawlers in the golf course.
~ sandwich MA..."Benny and Longbow"
~The one bedroom apartment and having to get used to living together after many years.
~Loaf of Italian Bread, kalamata olives, Vermont cheese and a glass of wine = one great meal.
~"Catch ya in the am"
~When I opened up my graduation present...the first of many cameras (pretty sure you have bought just about all of them after that too!!)
~My graduation and dinner afterwards at The Happy Garden.
~Taking photography classes together.
~The look on everyone's face the night you said I was adopted and we laughed at it.
~Fernando: "My friends call me Fred"...need I say more?
~The horrible Christmas that you and Sara told me that Tux died...about 5 years ago!
~Your coat rack you used as a Christmas tree.
~"the box"
~Fly tying classes, and the night I won the raffle.
~The Reel Lucky.
~Returning from China.
~Being rocked to sleep in the rocking chair (especially when I had ear infections).
~Duck Hunt.
~When you bought me the stuffed animal that looked like Tux.
~Buying scratch tickets.
~ When you lived on the late and we would look for frogs.
~The CHUCKY poster!!!
~When we found the dead whale in Rhode Island.
~When you busted out on how old Moses really was when he died and told me I should read my bible more.
~When you told the teacher off at the parent/teacher meeting and everyone clapped for you...he never gave me trouble again.
~The year you helped me make all of my Christmas presents.
~My six foot James Dean.
~The box you made me (still has the picture of you from Montana in it)
~Learning how to fly fish.
~Catching my first fish at the club and then my fist one deep sea fishing on the fly rod.
~Birthday calls at 5:00 am
~Pecan Pie.
~MONEY....don't give me any of that do goody good bulls*!t
~Thursday night dinners.
~The Christmas we woke up and you were on the couch (my best Christmas yet)
~All the anatomy books and stuff you bought me.
~My pocket protector, microscope and dissection kit (man I was an odd child).
~Learning how to use a turkey call.
~"Hola"
~Trips to B&N
~Doing laundry with the blue haired ladies.
~Lobsters and Muscles.
~Taking photos.
~Purgatory.
~Sara laughing so hard she cries...and all we can do is laugh at her.
~When I broke my back and had to wear the back brace (such a dork).
~La Gloria Cubana Wavells.
~Getting books from you with notes of encouragement on the inside of them.
~Great Expectations.
~Encouragement in photography and life in general.
~Our tour of the vineyard in P-Town..."So can anyone tell me....anyone?"
~Getting flowers from you at my office on my birthday.
~Pass the pigs.
~Christmas mornings.
~Fishing in the rain down at the Cape and almost getting blown in the water, best fishing day we had.
~Hot Dog Annies, Coney Island, Super China buffet.
~Porsche 911 Turbo, black with a whale tail

This list could go on forever, and I know I'm missing some really good memories right now.

We've had so many good memories over the years but as we know life wasn't always grand...we had out bad days (months, years) too. I'm sorry dad, from the bottom of my heart and I'm not sure I have every really said that, but I am sorry for... the times I didn't want to talk to you, that I didn't want to see you, when I said I didn't like you, the times we would come home crying our eyes out and you would have to come back over and hug us. The time I called you up and was so mad about not spending time with you that I said "when you die am I going to have to have you cremated and carry you around so I can say I spent time with my dad?". How difficult I was back then. For believing all the lies. For not giving you a real chance. For holding anger and frustration for so long. The scars on my wrist will never let me forget these times, but serves as a reminder as to where we've come over the years and how faithful our God is.

I love you and miss you dad and no matter what, I will always be your little girl...Happy Father's Day.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Best Phone Call Of The Day!

Ok so I get a lot of calls during the day...but this one should win some kind of prize:

"Hi I want to request information"

Ok, on which program?

"Ummm I guess the Translation program would be good...Do you offer Korean?"

Yes we do. Can I have your address?

So she gives me her address and all that info...now here is the best part:

Where did you do your undergraduate studies?

"Ummm, what do you mean?"

Where did you get your B.A. from? What College/University?

"Psychology"

No, what school did you attend?

"Humanities"

Um, what school did you study that at?

"I don't get what you mean"

Where have you spent the last four years studying Psychology and Humanities?

"Ohhhh, Um CSU Fullerton"

Ok, thank you. What year did you graduate or will graduate?

"Ohhh, ya I've graduated...let me think what year was that?"

Kind of along pause there...

"Oh ya that would be right now, 2006"

No joke...this was a real conversation today! Took everything inside of me not to laugh.

Monday, June 05, 2006

For My Love

(kind of a continuation of yesterdays entry)

"For My Love" (Bethany Dillon)

Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

I want to hide
What’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head
And see you there
I want to be pursued

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

A dream I won’t wake from
A story that will never end
The ground your feet walk on
Let me be there, let me be there

Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Ask me for my love

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Girly

© jenny s manseau 2006

Not to long ago someone made a comment to me along the lines of: underneath all of this..youu have a girly side to you. You know what...they are right, but why do I try so hard to hide that part of me? Obviously I'm a girl...that was the way that I was created to be, but for some reason I try to hide that "girly" side of me. Why? I've been thinking about this a lot lately...can you tell? This is what I've come up with:

That girly side of me is fragile, and I'm afraid to get hurt. That side is my deepest desires that only God knows of. My passions. My talents. My gifts. My thoughts. The person who is wanting to be rescued and brought out...but not by just any one. I don't want to just blurt all of that out for the world to see, to me its private.

On the outside I'm not this drop deadgorgeouss person. I don't wear a ton of make-up or nice clothes. I like my t-shirt, tank tops, jeans, chucks and flip flops. I'm pretty plain. I'm short. I wear glasses. I like to think of my self as down to earth. I like to be comfortable...but that doesn't mean that inside I'm not girly. I desire a husband, someone who will love me unconditionally. Who will pray with me. I love to be hugged. I want someone who will encourage me and for me to do that for them. I desire someone who will challenge me to grow deeper in God's word. Who will challenge me with my desires. Who will challenge me with my passion of photography.

What is thisdefinitionn of "girly" anyway?

The realistic side of me would love a small wedding, you know a few people in the wedding party, not a huge number of guests and just a fun party after it all...with a really good wedding photographer. Something realistic, that doesn't cost an arm and a leg for a few hours one day...that money could be spend on much better things. The "girly" side of me would love a fairy tale wedding...you know the prince charming, nice white dress, tons of people, great food, lots of fun. I guess it all depends on my husband some day and what we decide together.

I don' t know, I'm afraid to get caught up in the whole fairy tale side of being a girl...its just very unrealistic to me. Movies are just completely different that real life. Life just doesn't work like that...things get tough, people have to work for things. I just don't want to be one of those girls that thinks that some prince will come, rescue me and we will live happily ever after. Yes someday I'll meet an amazing man of God, we will get married, but marriage isn't a fix to all things, its tough. It needs to be worked on. When I get married...it will be until death does us part. Relationships of any kind take work, and if one or both aren't willing to put the effort in and actually work out any difficulties then something is wrong. It takes two. It takes work, effort, love and most of all God.

"She is worth far more than rubies" Proverbs 31:10b
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