Monday, June 19, 2006

Belated Father's Day

Yesterday was father's day, the second one not being able to see my dad. It's weird not being there with him and spending the day together, but it was easier than last year anyway. I only got to talk to him on the phone for a little bit because he didn't have good reception. I was thinking about him a lot yesterday and all the memories that we have...hope you laugh and smile as much as I did as I remembered these Dad...

~When you played Jesus in the Godspell that the Joy Church put on.
~The time that our crazy neighbor's friends came looking for drugs and were knocking on our bedroom window and you came in with your shot gun to scare them away.
~The fake targets in our yard.
~Hanging turtles from the swing set and me experimenting with the turtles heart (it was beating in my hand and I thought if it was frozen then defrosted it would beat didn't).
~The club (three day shoots with the coon skin cap, fishing, swimming, shooting our jeans).
~Vermont...our spot, Hogback Mountain, The Spiral Shop, Brattleboro, our sandwich place (which we still don't know the name of, but continue to call it "ours"), the army navy store, the barn with all the license plates.
~Tattoo's for father's day.
~John Cougar Mellencamp concert.
~When I was in girl scouts and wanted to wear those shorts that Aunt Luann bought me and you and mom said no but I wore them under my skirt anyway and they showed in all the pictures.
~Digging for nightcrawlers in the golf course.
~ sandwich MA..."Benny and Longbow"
~The one bedroom apartment and having to get used to living together after many years.
~Loaf of Italian Bread, kalamata olives, Vermont cheese and a glass of wine = one great meal.
~"Catch ya in the am"
~When I opened up my graduation present...the first of many cameras (pretty sure you have bought just about all of them after that too!!)
~My graduation and dinner afterwards at The Happy Garden.
~Taking photography classes together.
~The look on everyone's face the night you said I was adopted and we laughed at it.
~Fernando: "My friends call me Fred"...need I say more?
~The horrible Christmas that you and Sara told me that Tux died...about 5 years ago!
~Your coat rack you used as a Christmas tree.
~"the box"
~Fly tying classes, and the night I won the raffle.
~The Reel Lucky.
~Returning from China.
~Being rocked to sleep in the rocking chair (especially when I had ear infections).
~Duck Hunt.
~When you bought me the stuffed animal that looked like Tux.
~Buying scratch tickets.
~ When you lived on the late and we would look for frogs.
~The CHUCKY poster!!!
~When we found the dead whale in Rhode Island.
~When you busted out on how old Moses really was when he died and told me I should read my bible more.
~When you told the teacher off at the parent/teacher meeting and everyone clapped for you...he never gave me trouble again.
~The year you helped me make all of my Christmas presents.
~My six foot James Dean.
~The box you made me (still has the picture of you from Montana in it)
~Learning how to fly fish.
~Catching my first fish at the club and then my fist one deep sea fishing on the fly rod.
~Birthday calls at 5:00 am
~Pecan Pie.
~MONEY....don't give me any of that do goody good bulls*!t
~Thursday night dinners.
~The Christmas we woke up and you were on the couch (my best Christmas yet)
~All the anatomy books and stuff you bought me.
~My pocket protector, microscope and dissection kit (man I was an odd child).
~Learning how to use a turkey call.
~Trips to B&N
~Doing laundry with the blue haired ladies.
~Lobsters and Muscles.
~Taking photos.
~Sara laughing so hard she cries...and all we can do is laugh at her.
~When I broke my back and had to wear the back brace (such a dork).
~La Gloria Cubana Wavells.
~Getting books from you with notes of encouragement on the inside of them.
~Great Expectations.
~Encouragement in photography and life in general.
~Our tour of the vineyard in P-Town..."So can anyone tell me....anyone?"
~Getting flowers from you at my office on my birthday.
~Pass the pigs.
~Christmas mornings.
~Fishing in the rain down at the Cape and almost getting blown in the water, best fishing day we had.
~Hot Dog Annies, Coney Island, Super China buffet.
~Porsche 911 Turbo, black with a whale tail

This list could go on forever, and I know I'm missing some really good memories right now.

We've had so many good memories over the years but as we know life wasn't always grand...we had out bad days (months, years) too. I'm sorry dad, from the bottom of my heart and I'm not sure I have every really said that, but I am sorry for... the times I didn't want to talk to you, that I didn't want to see you, when I said I didn't like you, the times we would come home crying our eyes out and you would have to come back over and hug us. The time I called you up and was so mad about not spending time with you that I said "when you die am I going to have to have you cremated and carry you around so I can say I spent time with my dad?". How difficult I was back then. For believing all the lies. For not giving you a real chance. For holding anger and frustration for so long. The scars on my wrist will never let me forget these times, but serves as a reminder as to where we've come over the years and how faithful our God is.

I love you and miss you dad and no matter what, I will always be your little girl...Happy Father's Day.


Supa Sparks said...

ummm i bought you the six foot james dean . . . for the record, but who cares right : )

jsmanseau said...

Woops...forgot you bought that, but Dad was there that Christmas morning at our place, I got confused! Love ya,

dann said...