Monday, February 20, 2006



Originally uploaded by Jenny Jen-e.

Lost

"I'd love to be the shoulder that you cry on...I'd love to be the friend you call when things aren't great..." (The Closest Thing~The Juliana Theory)

Not to much going on right now. Working on getting back into taking pictures still. Its actually a longer harder process that I expected. I find myself holding back and analyzing everything instead of just shooting what catches my eye. I keep telling myself that I'm not doing this to impress anyone anymore and to fit into their opinions or ideas of what my work and style should be. I just feel like I lost part of me and I'm trying to find it again. I don't know why I'm holding back so much...its not like I'm using film, its digital, so I can easly burn through several hundred shots and just delet them, but getting to the point of holding down the button all the way is hard.

I downloaded the last episode of The Office...so stink funny!

Well I'm going to hit the sac early tonight, night everyone.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Songs

I was at the laundry mat doing my laundry today and listening to my iPod on shuffle and when certian songs came on memories just came flooding back to me. Does this ever happen to anyone else? That when you hear a song or a lyric from a song that it brings you back to a place, a time in the past or a memory...good or bad? "Around Here" by the Counting Crows came on first and I had a grin on my face from ear to ear and started to laugh a little. Anytime I hear that song (or pretty much anything from the August and Everything After cd) I think of Franklin. Living with Gramma Lu and Grampa Ted. I think of Sara. I think of Conlyn Ave and the friends we had there. Its funny how some songs make you think of things.

Anytime I hear the first note of Pink Floyd's Money I think of my Dad and always will...that is "our song". Very untraditional but we are untraditional.

"P. S. We'll call when we get there" by the Juliana Theory reminds me of when Jay, Matt, Adam Lizzy and I went to Boston to see them.

"Shifting Sand" by Cademon's Call reminds me of Nate Damon. About five or so years ago we tried to do a little "coffee shop/open mic night" at my old church and Nate and one of his friends from college got up and preformed that song and it was amazing.

I could go on forever with this but I won't bore all of you who are reading this.

Somedays I feel like song lyrics can better describe my life than I can. If I could just explain my life story in song lyrics I would.

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Thunder and Lightning

I've lived here for almost a year now (wow ). Tonight was the first time I heard thunder and saw lightning. Its so weird to think that on this coast we don't really get those kinds of storms where back East they can get pretty nasty. This thunder and lightning lasted all of five seconds, so not comparable to the East coast. I think the loudest, scariest and most beautiful lightning storms I've ever seen were when I was in Haiti...it seemd liked we had one just about every night. I actually kind of miss having them.

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So far its been a pretty laid back weekend which is kind of nice. I feel like I'm usually busy during the week and not so much on the weekends. Shouldn't it be the other way around? I'm enjoying the laziness of the weekend. Its been raining like crazy, so its been cool here and I just want to curl up on the couch and watch a dvd or read a good book. I watched the Breakfast Club tonight. I've read all the books on my book shelves, so not much selection there any more.

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What's wrong baby, don't they treat you like they should?
Did you take �em for it?
Every penny that you could?
We once walked out on the beach and once I almost touched your hand.
Oh how I dreamed to finally say such things then only to pretend.
Don't you know I'm thinkin�, drivin� 405 past midnight.
You know I miss you.
Don't you know that I miss you?
Ninth and Ash on a Tuesday night.
I would write to you from a museum mile, toast to you:
your whisper, your smile.
Up the stairs at the Weatherford, a ghost each place I hide.
If you don't don't know, why would you say so?
Would you mean this please if it happens?
If you don't know, why would you say so?
Won't you get your story straight.
If you don't know, honey, why'd you just say so?
And I need this now more than I ever did.
If you don't well, honey, then you don't.
I left you waiting, at the least could we be friends?
Should have never started, ain't that the way it always ends?
On my life I'll try today, there's so much I've felt I should say, but.
Even if your heart would listen, doubt I could explain.
If you don't don't know, why'd you say so?
Would you mean this please if it happens?
If you don't know, why would you say so?
Won't you get your story straight.
If you don't know, honey, why'd you just say so?
Cause I need this now more than I ever did.
If you don't well, honey, then you don't.
So here we are now, a sip of wine a sip of water.
Someday maybe, maybe someday we'll be smarter.
And I'm sorry that I'm such a mess, I drank all my money could get and,
took everything you let me have and then I never loved you back.
If you don't don't know, why would you say so?
Would you mean the please if it happens?
If you don't know, why would you say so?
Won't you get your story straight?
If you don't know, honey, why'd you just say so?
Cause I need this now yeah need this, need this.
If you don't well, honey, then you don't
And if you don't well, honey, then you don't
If you don't know, honey, honey, then you don't.

If you don't, don't~Jimmy Eat World

Friday, February 17, 2006

God's Signature


Sunset 3
Originally uploaded by jennyjene.

Its been a weird day...not a bad one just weird. If I could put it in to words on this I would and it would probably help me explain this feeling.

All I know is that God is so amazingly good to me. Can't thank Him enough for all that He has done and gives me each and every day. Just thinking back to where I've come from and how this journey of life has been so far, its just crazy. Its awesome to see the blessing He dishes out each day especially the blessings of those around you. I don't deserve all I've been given. To Him, the one who created me and this beautiful earth and these amazing sunsets...I owe everything. To Him I am beautiful, I am love, I am His. Thank you.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Cross


Cross
Originally uploaded by jennyjene.

Carmel Mission, Carmel CA copyright jenny s. manseau 2003

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Tulip


Tulip
Originally uploaded by jennyjene.

Hopefull I will get photos up here more often...here is one to start with at least. Hope you like it.

~Jenny

Not to much is happening right now. The stress from work is dying down slowly.
Its Valentine's Day today. Nothing wonderful happening tonight. Just going to buy the first season of Grey's Anatomy so I can finally see how it ends. Basically that's the highlight of my week. Ha ha such an exciting life let me tell ya.

This weekend was pretty good. Saturday night the guys (Mondo, Chris and Nathan) came over to set up a shelf that my roommate bought about a month ago and just hasn't had the time to set up. So in return I made them steak n salsa (mostly because I was craving it). They seemed to like it, and that's always a plus. Come to think of it, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't like it. See something good can come out of every not so pleasant situation ;) I got some junk from Chris about my comments on military guys, I guess I really should practice thinking before I speak. Probably didn't help that the last time I made that comment I was around a group of navy guys. Woops. Lesson learned. Mondo got his new camera and brought it over. He ended up going with the Nikon D50. Its a pretty nice camera, but I love my D70. I can't wait to afford my other lens!

Sunday I went with Kelly to the AT&T pro-am at Pebble Beach. So I know nothing about golf, but had a great time and actually learned a few things. Saturday was the day for all the celebs, but there were still a few on Sunday, such as Michael Bolton, hahah. I couldn't think of a song of his to save my life. Kelly and I were trying to figure one out and these two guys behind us kept butting in to our conversation said they "celebrated his whole collection" but still couldn't really name a song for us. So weird. Then one of them said that him and Michael were "good buddies", then finally admitted he only met him once and he probably has no clue who he is now. Kelly if you ever read this all I have to say is...Red Hot Pants. The highlight of my day was seeing Emmitt Smith! He wasn't having a good golf day.

Last night I finally broke down and got my self so new kicks. Its only been about five years since I bought a pair. The last ones I bought were for when we went on our missions trip to Romania and we hiked the alps there...I think they were pretty much shot at that point. Lately I've been wearing them to and from work and getting nasty shin splints. So I finally did it and got some new ones. I went to foot locker last night and was looking around. Found a cool pair that I liked but they were 79.00 and then I found another pair that were 89.00 but had a tag on them that said "2 for 89.00". So I asked if the other pair I liked were part of that deal, and they just so happened to be. So to sum up this not so exciting story for everyone else I got two new pairs of kicks for the price of one! So stinkin awesome.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Change of opinion

I'm not even sure how long I have had this opinion or what started it but its been pretty stinkin strong for a long time. I have this thing with the military where I automatically think that all of them are jerks (we'll put this in nice terms). Ask anyone who knows me and I'm sure they have heard me say this at least once, "I will never marry anyone in the military" or "I can't stand military guys". I don't know where this anger came from against anyone in the military, but I wish I did. So over the years this has been my pattern of thinking...ALL military guys are jerks. But, lately I have had a slight change of opinion...not ALL military guys are jerks...some still are but not all. I have met some pretty awesome guys that just happen to be in the military, but they aren't your "typical" military foul mouth jerks. It might help that they are Christians...

There has been one guy in the military who I have always looked up to and admired, my cousin Steven. I remember being little and him going to the Gulf War. I was in the fourth grade and my class would write him letters during his time over there and when he returned he came and spoke to our class. I also remember being there when he came home. If I could put into to words the excitement to see him get off that plane and to be standing in front of us, I would. Again he went over for this war and I was there when he returned...still the same amazing man I looked up to when I was younger. I'm not sure what this man ever did for me to be so in awe of him, but I still am to this day. He will always be one of those men in my life that I will have great respect for.

Anyway, went to the guys last football game last night up at DLI. Pretty good stuff, wish I knew about them sooner, would of definitely loved to go to more. It was a great game, but sad to say they lost in the last minute or so! It was way more exciting than this years super bowl!!

Sara's visit went well. I got to spend as much time as I could with her, and she got to see all of her friends out here. The baby shower was awesome... I think she had a really good time.

It was really good for me to have her here and actually be able to talk with her face to face about some things. She's such an awesome woman of God, and truly a blessing to me in so many ways. I'm so thankful that Jason thought of sending her out here. Next time I see her she'll be a mom...wow. I plan on flying out there for the first week of May to spend them with them and Jed! I'm so excited to be an aunt and this little boy is going to be so spoiled!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Things pondered....

When I was in China (wow almost three years ago now, some days it seems like just yesterday I was there), I grew so much closer to God that I ever had, it was truly amazing. Granted at the time I wasn't that aware of it, but when I came home and ever since I've realized more and more the closeness that I shared with Him, and how I long to have that even more. I feel like moving to California was the next step in that direction. Where it was just the two of us. Me and Him. Having nothing...no family and not much of my "material" life with me, He is truly all I had. On those lonely days and tear filled nights, it was Him who I had to turn to and be comforted by. Trust me, its not always easy.

During that time I also started to pray for my husband...who ever he may be. I don't know why I had such a strong desire to start praying for him, but I have been ever since. I wonder so many times who he is and what is he like? I wonder what he is dealing with in his life, where he is and where he comes from. I know that God has a truly amazing man for me, and right now its all about being patient and waiting on God's time and obviously not my own. I find myself writing him letters every now and then. Letters that some days have no particular meaning, and others are on major things that have happened in my life. I'm just so curious about him...Is he a man of God? Does he have a heart for missions? Does he have a heart for China? Will he make me laugh more than he makes me cry? There are a million questions I would love to know the answers to, but again in God's time, not mine. I would love to someday do a missions trip with my husband to China. Actually I would love to just be able to have someone to travel with!

I have been very fortunate however to meet some truly amazing men of God, and to have them in my life as friends is a blessing and means more than I'm sure all the of them will ever know. Its been a great learning experience for me, sometimes a hard learning experience but never the less a good one. God is truly amazing.
I'm excited to see what God has planned for me next. Life has become more of an adventure to me now. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but I can't wait to find out.
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When I went home for Christmas this year it was so hard for me. I was happy to see everyone, but I feel like I've changed so much over the past 8 months and I go back and I feel like everyone else is still the same. Then I feel like jerk, like I'm judging them, when I'm really not meaning too, but I just see the change that God has done in me and I go back and its the same as when I left. Maybe I should have expectations for others. I don't know. I love my family and friends and I miss them a ton, but in all honesty I don't ever see myself moving back there. I think I've become a much better person away from there, that when I go back I slide right back into my old self. I don't like it. About two days into my trip back East, I was ready to head back West. I feel like I had such a hard time connecting and interacting with people that I have spent that last six years or so of my life with. Conversations were quick and superficial for the most part...what is this all about? There still was not many good deep talks, not much about God, not much more than surface gossip. It frustrates me so much. There are still a few people back East that I can have these conversations with but the numbers are getting smaller and smaller.
I don't feel like MA is home anymore and I'm not completely sure if California is either, it's such a weird feeling. I don't think that I will be here in CA for the rest of my life. I don't see my self settling down and having a family here (its way to much money), but I don't know where that place will be. Guess its just part of the adventure.
I know change is a hard thing, but this one just hurts. Its sad to see people you love still in the same places when you have seen so much more, and the possibilities that are out there. Sometimes its just heart breaking. You want to help, but how? You don't want people to think you are judging them, so I guess all I can do is pray...
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So this weekend should be a good one. Tomorrow is Sara's first baby shower! Ohhh the other night I got to feel Jed moving around. That has got to be one of the coolest/weirdest things ever!! I'm happy I got to witness it. Hopefully everything will turn out well tomorrow, I guess there are about 30 people coming so that's a good start.
Sunday....Super Bowl Sunday!!!!! To bad that Pat's aren't in it again this year, but I guess we can't be greedy, I mean come on now, 3 in 4 years, that's pretty stinkin good if you ask me. I guess we should give someone else a shot. Hopefully I'll get to watch it this year...so sad, can't watch it at Marc and Sue's house with everyone! That kind of stinks. What really weird is that out here on the West coast it starts at 3:00 in the afternoon!! I'm so used to the 6:00 start time and getting out of there so stinkin late. Not this year, its all in the afternoon, except it probably won't be over before Sunday Night service starts, so that part kind of stinks. I guess I'll have to hear who wins after the fact...and its not like my teams playing so.
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Well I guess thats it for now...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Better

Things are getting better. I had my break down and things are starting to look up from here. We aren't really on speaking terms but hopefully we'll get there sooner rather than later.

During all this God has just shown Himself more and more to me. He truly is amazing in all that He does, especially the little things in life. It's great to see that when one door closes He always seems to open another one just at the right time. He brings amazing people into your lives to help you along the way. Its truly the small little things that everyone seems to overlook on a daily basis that blows me away. I just feel truly blessed right now, even from the smallest act or word of kindness from a friend. I think its even better when its someone that you least expect.

I went out to take some photos yesterday...not many but at least I was out doing it finally. I've been working on some photoshop stuff too. Eventually I'll get them uploaded to my site (www.jsmphotos.com) and hopefully add some on here too.

Work has been crazy for the past few weeks, and there is no end is sight! Oh well its keeping me busy and my mind off of things so that's good. Seeing as I have been working late a few nights I get to come in to work late tomorrow morning...I'm so excited.

Sara is here this week!!! Its been great getting to see her and spend time with her. So far the only time I really get to spend with her is in the mornings before I head to work, but tonight we get to hang out and possibly go see a movie. Her baby shower is this weekend I hope everything turns out well. I feel like I haven't done much for it, I've been so busy its been hard. Thank God she has some amazing friends out here to help!

Have I told you I have the best older sister ever! While I was in the middle of an interview today she came down to my work and left me a boquet of Gerber Daisy's and a Carmel Apple Cider from Starbucks! She's awesome, completely made my day. I actually got to have lunch with her today too! So minus all the stress from work, its been a good day so far. =0)

I'll try to keep this updated more often!

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