Sunday, June 04, 2006


© jenny s manseau 2006

Not to long ago someone made a comment to me along the lines of: underneath all of this..youu have a girly side to you. You know what...they are right, but why do I try so hard to hide that part of me? Obviously I'm a girl...that was the way that I was created to be, but for some reason I try to hide that "girly" side of me. Why? I've been thinking about this a lot lately...can you tell? This is what I've come up with:

That girly side of me is fragile, and I'm afraid to get hurt. That side is my deepest desires that only God knows of. My passions. My talents. My gifts. My thoughts. The person who is wanting to be rescued and brought out...but not by just any one. I don't want to just blurt all of that out for the world to see, to me its private.

On the outside I'm not this drop deadgorgeouss person. I don't wear a ton of make-up or nice clothes. I like my t-shirt, tank tops, jeans, chucks and flip flops. I'm pretty plain. I'm short. I wear glasses. I like to think of my self as down to earth. I like to be comfortable...but that doesn't mean that inside I'm not girly. I desire a husband, someone who will love me unconditionally. Who will pray with me. I love to be hugged. I want someone who will encourage me and for me to do that for them. I desire someone who will challenge me to grow deeper in God's word. Who will challenge me with my desires. Who will challenge me with my passion of photography.

What is thisdefinitionn of "girly" anyway?

The realistic side of me would love a small wedding, you know a few people in the wedding party, not a huge number of guests and just a fun party after it all...with a really good wedding photographer. Something realistic, that doesn't cost an arm and a leg for a few hours one day...that money could be spend on much better things. The "girly" side of me would love a fairy tale know the prince charming, nice white dress, tons of people, great food, lots of fun. I guess it all depends on my husband some day and what we decide together.

I don' t know, I'm afraid to get caught up in the whole fairy tale side of being a girl...its just very unrealistic to me. Movies are just completely different that real life. Life just doesn't work like that...things get tough, people have to work for things. I just don't want to be one of those girls that thinks that some prince will come, rescue me and we will live happily ever after. Yes someday I'll meet an amazing man of God, we will get married, but marriage isn't a fix to all things, its tough. It needs to be worked on. When I get will be until death does us part. Relationships of any kind take work, and if one or both aren't willing to put the effort in and actually work out any difficulties then something is wrong. It takes two. It takes work, effort, love and most of all God.

"She is worth far more than rubies" Proverbs 31:10b

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