Cross
Originally uploaded by jennyjene.
Carmel Mission, Carmel CA copyright jenny s. manseau 2003
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Not to much is happening right now. The stress from work is dying down slowly.
Its Valentine's Day today. Nothing wonderful happening tonight. Just going to buy the first season of Grey's Anatomy so I can finally see how it ends. Basically that's the highlight of my week. Ha ha such an exciting life let me tell ya.
This weekend was pretty good. Saturday night the guys (Mondo, Chris and Nathan) came over to set up a shelf that my roommate bought about a month ago and just hasn't had the time to set up. So in return I made them steak n salsa (mostly because I was craving it). They seemed to like it, and that's always a plus. Come to think of it, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't like it. See something good can come out of every not so pleasant situation ;) I got some junk from Chris about my comments on military guys, I guess I really should practice thinking before I speak. Probably didn't help that the last time I made that comment I was around a group of navy guys. Woops. Lesson learned. Mondo got his new camera and brought it over. He ended up going with the Nikon D50. Its a pretty nice camera, but I love my D70. I can't wait to afford my other lens!
Sunday I went with Kelly to the AT&T pro-am at Pebble Beach. So I know nothing about golf, but had a great time and actually learned a few things. Saturday was the day for all the celebs, but there were still a few on Sunday, such as Michael Bolton, hahah. I couldn't think of a song of his to save my life. Kelly and I were trying to figure one out and these two guys behind us kept butting in to our conversation said they "celebrated his whole collection" but still couldn't really name a song for us. So weird. Then one of them said that him and Michael were "good buddies", then finally admitted he only met him once and he probably has no clue who he is now. Kelly if you ever read this all I have to say is...Red Hot Pants. The highlight of my day was seeing Emmitt Smith! He wasn't having a good golf day.
Last night I finally broke down and got my self so new kicks. Its only been about five years since I bought a pair. The last ones I bought were for when we went on our missions trip to Romania and we hiked the alps there...I think they were pretty much shot at that point. Lately I've been wearing them to and from work and getting nasty shin splints. So I finally did it and got some new ones. I went to foot locker last night and was looking around. Found a cool pair that I liked but they were 79.00 and then I found another pair that were 89.00 but had a tag on them that said "2 for 89.00". So I asked if the other pair I liked were part of that deal, and they just so happened to be. So to sum up this not so exciting story for everyone else I got two new pairs of kicks for the price of one! So stinkin awesome.
Its Valentine's Day today. Nothing wonderful happening tonight. Just going to buy the first season of Grey's Anatomy so I can finally see how it ends. Basically that's the highlight of my week. Ha ha such an exciting life let me tell ya.
This weekend was pretty good. Saturday night the guys (Mondo, Chris and Nathan) came over to set up a shelf that my roommate bought about a month ago and just hasn't had the time to set up. So in return I made them steak n salsa (mostly because I was craving it). They seemed to like it, and that's always a plus. Come to think of it, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't like it. See something good can come out of every not so pleasant situation ;) I got some junk from Chris about my comments on military guys, I guess I really should practice thinking before I speak. Probably didn't help that the last time I made that comment I was around a group of navy guys. Woops. Lesson learned. Mondo got his new camera and brought it over. He ended up going with the Nikon D50. Its a pretty nice camera, but I love my D70. I can't wait to afford my other lens!
Sunday I went with Kelly to the AT&T pro-am at Pebble Beach. So I know nothing about golf, but had a great time and actually learned a few things. Saturday was the day for all the celebs, but there were still a few on Sunday, such as Michael Bolton, hahah. I couldn't think of a song of his to save my life. Kelly and I were trying to figure one out and these two guys behind us kept butting in to our conversation said they "celebrated his whole collection" but still couldn't really name a song for us. So weird. Then one of them said that him and Michael were "good buddies", then finally admitted he only met him once and he probably has no clue who he is now. Kelly if you ever read this all I have to say is...Red Hot Pants. The highlight of my day was seeing Emmitt Smith! He wasn't having a good golf day.
Last night I finally broke down and got my self so new kicks. Its only been about five years since I bought a pair. The last ones I bought were for when we went on our missions trip to Romania and we hiked the alps there...I think they were pretty much shot at that point. Lately I've been wearing them to and from work and getting nasty shin splints. So I finally did it and got some new ones. I went to foot locker last night and was looking around. Found a cool pair that I liked but they were 79.00 and then I found another pair that were 89.00 but had a tag on them that said "2 for 89.00". So I asked if the other pair I liked were part of that deal, and they just so happened to be. So to sum up this not so exciting story for everyone else I got two new pairs of kicks for the price of one! So stinkin awesome.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Change of opinion
I'm not even sure how long I have had this opinion or what started it but its been pretty stinkin strong for a long time. I have this thing with the military where I automatically think that all of them are jerks (we'll put this in nice terms). Ask anyone who knows me and I'm sure they have heard me say this at least once, "I will never marry anyone in the military" or "I can't stand military guys". I don't know where this anger came from against anyone in the military, but I wish I did. So over the years this has been my pattern of thinking...ALL military guys are jerks. But, lately I have had a slight change of opinion...not ALL military guys are jerks...some still are but not all. I have met some pretty awesome guys that just happen to be in the military, but they aren't your "typical" military foul mouth jerks. It might help that they are Christians...
There has been one guy in the military who I have always looked up to and admired, my cousin Steven. I remember being little and him going to the Gulf War. I was in the fourth grade and my class would write him letters during his time over there and when he returned he came and spoke to our class. I also remember being there when he came home. If I could put into to words the excitement to see him get off that plane and to be standing in front of us, I would. Again he went over for this war and I was there when he returned...still the same amazing man I looked up to when I was younger. I'm not sure what this man ever did for me to be so in awe of him, but I still am to this day. He will always be one of those men in my life that I will have great respect for.
Anyway, went to the guys last football game last night up at DLI. Pretty good stuff, wish I knew about them sooner, would of definitely loved to go to more. It was a great game, but sad to say they lost in the last minute or so! It was way more exciting than this years super bowl!!
Sara's visit went well. I got to spend as much time as I could with her, and she got to see all of her friends out here. The baby shower was awesome... I think she had a really good time.
It was really good for me to have her here and actually be able to talk with her face to face about some things. She's such an awesome woman of God, and truly a blessing to me in so many ways. I'm so thankful that Jason thought of sending her out here. Next time I see her she'll be a mom...wow. I plan on flying out there for the first week of May to spend them with them and Jed! I'm so excited to be an aunt and this little boy is going to be so spoiled!
There has been one guy in the military who I have always looked up to and admired, my cousin Steven. I remember being little and him going to the Gulf War. I was in the fourth grade and my class would write him letters during his time over there and when he returned he came and spoke to our class. I also remember being there when he came home. If I could put into to words the excitement to see him get off that plane and to be standing in front of us, I would. Again he went over for this war and I was there when he returned...still the same amazing man I looked up to when I was younger. I'm not sure what this man ever did for me to be so in awe of him, but I still am to this day. He will always be one of those men in my life that I will have great respect for.
Anyway, went to the guys last football game last night up at DLI. Pretty good stuff, wish I knew about them sooner, would of definitely loved to go to more. It was a great game, but sad to say they lost in the last minute or so! It was way more exciting than this years super bowl!!
Sara's visit went well. I got to spend as much time as I could with her, and she got to see all of her friends out here. The baby shower was awesome... I think she had a really good time.
It was really good for me to have her here and actually be able to talk with her face to face about some things. She's such an awesome woman of God, and truly a blessing to me in so many ways. I'm so thankful that Jason thought of sending her out here. Next time I see her she'll be a mom...wow. I plan on flying out there for the first week of May to spend them with them and Jed! I'm so excited to be an aunt and this little boy is going to be so spoiled!
Friday, February 03, 2006
Things pondered....
When I was in China (wow almost three years ago now, some days it seems like just yesterday I was there), I grew so much closer to God that I ever had, it was truly amazing. Granted at the time I wasn't that aware of it, but when I came home and ever since I've realized more and more the closeness that I shared with Him, and how I long to have that even more. I feel like moving to California was the next step in that direction. Where it was just the two of us. Me and Him. Having nothing...no family and not much of my "material" life with me, He is truly all I had. On those lonely days and tear filled nights, it was Him who I had to turn to and be comforted by. Trust me, its not always easy.
During that time I also started to pray for my husband...who ever he may be. I don't know why I had such a strong desire to start praying for him, but I have been ever since. I wonder so many times who he is and what is he like? I wonder what he is dealing with in his life, where he is and where he comes from. I know that God has a truly amazing man for me, and right now its all about being patient and waiting on God's time and obviously not my own. I find myself writing him letters every now and then. Letters that some days have no particular meaning, and others are on major things that have happened in my life. I'm just so curious about him...Is he a man of God? Does he have a heart for missions? Does he have a heart for China? Will he make me laugh more than he makes me cry? There are a million questions I would love to know the answers to, but again in God's time, not mine. I would love to someday do a missions trip with my husband to China. Actually I would love to just be able to have someone to travel with!
I have been very fortunate however to meet some truly amazing men of God, and to have them in my life as friends is a blessing and means more than I'm sure all the of them will ever know. Its been a great learning experience for me, sometimes a hard learning experience but never the less a good one. God is truly amazing.
During that time I also started to pray for my husband...who ever he may be. I don't know why I had such a strong desire to start praying for him, but I have been ever since. I wonder so many times who he is and what is he like? I wonder what he is dealing with in his life, where he is and where he comes from. I know that God has a truly amazing man for me, and right now its all about being patient and waiting on God's time and obviously not my own. I find myself writing him letters every now and then. Letters that some days have no particular meaning, and others are on major things that have happened in my life. I'm just so curious about him...Is he a man of God? Does he have a heart for missions? Does he have a heart for China? Will he make me laugh more than he makes me cry? There are a million questions I would love to know the answers to, but again in God's time, not mine. I would love to someday do a missions trip with my husband to China. Actually I would love to just be able to have someone to travel with!
I have been very fortunate however to meet some truly amazing men of God, and to have them in my life as friends is a blessing and means more than I'm sure all the of them will ever know. Its been a great learning experience for me, sometimes a hard learning experience but never the less a good one. God is truly amazing.
I'm excited to see what God has planned for me next. Life has become more of an adventure to me now. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but I can't wait to find out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I went home for Christmas this year it was so hard for me. I was happy to see everyone, but I feel like I've changed so much over the past 8 months and I go back and I feel like everyone else is still the same. Then I feel like jerk, like I'm judging them, when I'm really not meaning too, but I just see the change that God has done in me and I go back and its the same as when I left. Maybe I should have expectations for others. I don't know. I love my family and friends and I miss them a ton, but in all honesty I don't ever see myself moving back there. I think I've become a much better person away from there, that when I go back I slide right back into my old self. I don't like it. About two days into my trip back East, I was ready to head back West. I feel like I had such a hard time connecting and interacting with people that I have spent that last six years or so of my life with. Conversations were quick and superficial for the most part...what is this all about? There still was not many good deep talks, not much about God, not much more than surface gossip. It frustrates me so much. There are still a few people back East that I can have these conversations with but the numbers are getting smaller and smaller.
I don't feel like MA is home anymore and I'm not completely sure if California is either, it's such a weird feeling. I don't think that I will be here in CA for the rest of my life. I don't see my self settling down and having a family here (its way to much money), but I don't know where that place will be. Guess its just part of the adventure.
I know change is a hard thing, but this one just hurts. Its sad to see people you love still in the same places when you have seen so much more, and the possibilities that are out there. Sometimes its just heart breaking. You want to help, but how? You don't want people to think you are judging them, so I guess all I can do is pray...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So this weekend should be a good one. Tomorrow is Sara's first baby shower! Ohhh the other night I got to feel Jed moving around. That has got to be one of the coolest/weirdest things ever!! I'm happy I got to witness it. Hopefully everything will turn out well tomorrow, I guess there are about 30 people coming so that's a good start.
Sunday....Super Bowl Sunday!!!!! To bad that Pat's aren't in it again this year, but I guess we can't be greedy, I mean come on now, 3 in 4 years, that's pretty stinkin good if you ask me. I guess we should give someone else a shot. Hopefully I'll get to watch it this year...so sad, can't watch it at Marc and Sue's house with everyone! That kind of stinks. What really weird is that out here on the West coast it starts at 3:00 in the afternoon!! I'm so used to the 6:00 start time and getting out of there so stinkin late. Not this year, its all in the afternoon, except it probably won't be over before Sunday Night service starts, so that part kind of stinks. I guess I'll have to hear who wins after the fact...and its not like my teams playing so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well I guess thats it for now...
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Better
Things are getting better. I had my break down and things are starting to look up from here. We aren't really on speaking terms but hopefully we'll get there sooner rather than later.
During all this God has just shown Himself more and more to me. He truly is amazing in all that He does, especially the little things in life. It's great to see that when one door closes He always seems to open another one just at the right time. He brings amazing people into your lives to help you along the way. Its truly the small little things that everyone seems to overlook on a daily basis that blows me away. I just feel truly blessed right now, even from the smallest act or word of kindness from a friend. I think its even better when its someone that you least expect.
I went out to take some photos yesterday...not many but at least I was out doing it finally. I've been working on some photoshop stuff too. Eventually I'll get them uploaded to my site (www.jsmphotos.com) and hopefully add some on here too.
Work has been crazy for the past few weeks, and there is no end is sight! Oh well its keeping me busy and my mind off of things so that's good. Seeing as I have been working late a few nights I get to come in to work late tomorrow morning...I'm so excited.
Sara is here this week!!! Its been great getting to see her and spend time with her. So far the only time I really get to spend with her is in the mornings before I head to work, but tonight we get to hang out and possibly go see a movie. Her baby shower is this weekend I hope everything turns out well. I feel like I haven't done much for it, I've been so busy its been hard. Thank God she has some amazing friends out here to help!
Have I told you I have the best older sister ever! While I was in the middle of an interview today she came down to my work and left me a boquet of Gerber Daisy's and a Carmel Apple Cider from Starbucks! She's awesome, completely made my day. I actually got to have lunch with her today too! So minus all the stress from work, its been a good day so far. =0)
During all this God has just shown Himself more and more to me. He truly is amazing in all that He does, especially the little things in life. It's great to see that when one door closes He always seems to open another one just at the right time. He brings amazing people into your lives to help you along the way. Its truly the small little things that everyone seems to overlook on a daily basis that blows me away. I just feel truly blessed right now, even from the smallest act or word of kindness from a friend. I think its even better when its someone that you least expect.
I went out to take some photos yesterday...not many but at least I was out doing it finally. I've been working on some photoshop stuff too. Eventually I'll get them uploaded to my site (www.jsmphotos.com) and hopefully add some on here too.
Work has been crazy for the past few weeks, and there is no end is sight! Oh well its keeping me busy and my mind off of things so that's good. Seeing as I have been working late a few nights I get to come in to work late tomorrow morning...I'm so excited.
Sara is here this week!!! Its been great getting to see her and spend time with her. So far the only time I really get to spend with her is in the mornings before I head to work, but tonight we get to hang out and possibly go see a movie. Her baby shower is this weekend I hope everything turns out well. I feel like I haven't done much for it, I've been so busy its been hard. Thank God she has some amazing friends out here to help!
Have I told you I have the best older sister ever! While I was in the middle of an interview today she came down to my work and left me a boquet of Gerber Daisy's and a Carmel Apple Cider from Starbucks! She's awesome, completely made my day. I actually got to have lunch with her today too! So minus all the stress from work, its been a good day so far. =0)
I'll try to keep this updated more often!
Friday, January 20, 2006
I'm Not Fine
Ok well its been close to two months since I last updated this page. Sorry about that.
Lets see...I still have a job, its great. I'm really enjoying where I work and the people I work with.
I don't still have a boyfriend however. Yup you read it right, single yet again. Here's the break down. Everything was fine (or so I thought), I went home for almost two week for Christmas, came back on the 29th, and on New Years Eve we decided to take a two week break and pray about some things. About a week and a half into the break it ended. The first two week of the break I cried my eyes out, because I had a guy feeling that this was going to end, but never wanted to truly admit it out loud. I basically avoided talking to family and friends back home during this because I didn't want them to sense that something was wrong and I wasn't up for explaining it at that point, hoping that I would never have to.
So for about the first week or so after the break up anytime anyone would ask how I was doing my generic answer was "I'm fine...Its good, we are still friends". When in reality I wasn't fine, I'm still not fine. I got hurt, and I still hurt. This sucks. Mostly because I lost my best friend. I finally had my "breakdown" the other night. I just wanted to scream "I HURT" "I'M NOT FINE". Is that what everyone wanted to hear? I'm sure they were all thinking it, but I thought I was playing it off just fine. I couldn't bring myself to admit the fact that I was hurting, I don't know why. Its not like lying about it was helping me at all. Me lying to everyone else wasn't doing anything either...Seriously what was the point? It's not like this effected their lives. Why was (am I) I so ashamed to admit that I got hurt? Why does this bother me so much? I felt weak, and like a fool. A fool for allowing myself to be deceived and lied to yet again. I started to ask myself, "What were you thinking? Didn't you see any signs from the last time?" Maybe what they say is true, "third times a charm". I guess we'll have to wait and see about that one. I already find myself leary of future situations. Will I be able to trust someone again. Will I allow myself to go through something and take a risk at being hurt. Have I truly become this cynical? Do wonderfully amazing men only appear in books and movies? Maybe I read and watch movies too much. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!
We are going to try and remain friends. I would love this more than anything, but its going to take a lot of time, work and building of trust. It's just not going to happen over night and I needed to realize that. This aren't going back to "normal", they can't. Maybe someday eventually there can be a new normal, but that is far off in the distance. Don't get me wrong, he is a great guy, and hopefully a great friend again some day.
So now I'm trying to find other things to fill my time with. My normal fall back is taking pictures. I guess I'll start doing more of that, and hopefully update my site again soon with some new photos.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I GOT A JOB!!! (and a boyfriend)
I finally got a job. I just heard back yesterday about a job I applied to a month ago and interviewed for last week...Admissions officer at MIIS, Monterey Institute of International Studies. The start date was listed as December 5th, which means about three more weeks with out a job, my health insurance and benefits wouldn't start until January 1st but they knew I didn't have a job right now so they changed their minds and I am now starting tomorrow! I can't wait to actually be working again. To top it off, the pay is great, not complaints there that is for sure. So I'll try to be better at updating this and will let you all know how the first day goes.
Oh I have a boyfriend for all of you who don't know yet...yup me actually has a boyfriend. I know its been a good three years or so but it finally happened. He is awesome. His name is Dustin, and he is just great. Makes me laugh so hard and treats me great. I went with the youth group to southern Cal for a week and when I got back there were flowers on my bed...and this was even before we started dating. I'll have to put a picture up here eventually.
Well I'll be home for Christmas...from December 17-29th, so hopefully I will be able to see a bunch of people....see you then!
Oh I have a boyfriend for all of you who don't know yet...yup me actually has a boyfriend. I know its been a good three years or so but it finally happened. He is awesome. His name is Dustin, and he is just great. Makes me laugh so hard and treats me great. I went with the youth group to southern Cal for a week and when I got back there were flowers on my bed...and this was even before we started dating. I'll have to put a picture up here eventually.
Well I'll be home for Christmas...from December 17-29th, so hopefully I will be able to see a bunch of people....see you then!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Long Time
Sorry its been such a long time since I last updated this. Lets see what has happened?
Well I moved from Ventura to Monterey. I stayed with Sara and Jason for the past month until they moved to Maryland. Now I am living with my friend Heather and one of the nicest apartments around! (well better than any of mine back home). I'm still doing the job search thing but I know everything will all work out, I mean it has up until now so why would it change?
Having had this last month to spend with Sara and Jay before they moved was awesome. I got to just help them out as much as possible around the house and getting stuff ready for the move. Sara being pregnant now needed all the help and rest she could get so it was nice to be here for that. I'm sad that I wont really be around for the rest of it, but I can't wait until April when "poppy" is born. I am so happy and excited for them. They are going to make such great parents. Jay graduated from NPS last Friday, and they left on Saturday morning to start their drive back East.
I'm trying to remember what else has happened in my life. I guess a lot of little things have been going on but nothing too exciting I guess. I saw March of the Penguins...awesome movie! I learned how to play poker this week (Thanks Dustin). Going to Big Sur this weekend and taking some pictures. I can't wait. I am now getting back into photography and wanting to pick up my camera. I think now that I don't have to do it, my passion is coming back to me. I am actually going to use both my Minolta and my Nikon this weekend. I haven't used my Minolta since I got my Nikon, so its been a while.
Jimmy Eat World was in San Fran last weekend and guess what I missed them, AGAIN, and this weekend they are in Sacramento, and all sold out! So sad. But I think at the end of October, Dustin and I are going to go and see Weezer and Foo Fighters! Next weekend Heather and I are going to see Olivia the band play.
I guess that is it for now, I am sure there are other things that have been going on but nothing is coming to mind right now...
Again sorry it took so long for me to update this.
http://jsmphotos.com
Well I moved from Ventura to Monterey. I stayed with Sara and Jason for the past month until they moved to Maryland. Now I am living with my friend Heather and one of the nicest apartments around! (well better than any of mine back home). I'm still doing the job search thing but I know everything will all work out, I mean it has up until now so why would it change?
Having had this last month to spend with Sara and Jay before they moved was awesome. I got to just help them out as much as possible around the house and getting stuff ready for the move. Sara being pregnant now needed all the help and rest she could get so it was nice to be here for that. I'm sad that I wont really be around for the rest of it, but I can't wait until April when "poppy" is born. I am so happy and excited for them. They are going to make such great parents. Jay graduated from NPS last Friday, and they left on Saturday morning to start their drive back East.
I'm trying to remember what else has happened in my life. I guess a lot of little things have been going on but nothing too exciting I guess. I saw March of the Penguins...awesome movie! I learned how to play poker this week (Thanks Dustin). Going to Big Sur this weekend and taking some pictures. I can't wait. I am now getting back into photography and wanting to pick up my camera. I think now that I don't have to do it, my passion is coming back to me. I am actually going to use both my Minolta and my Nikon this weekend. I haven't used my Minolta since I got my Nikon, so its been a while.
Jimmy Eat World was in San Fran last weekend and guess what I missed them, AGAIN, and this weekend they are in Sacramento, and all sold out! So sad. But I think at the end of October, Dustin and I are going to go and see Weezer and Foo Fighters! Next weekend Heather and I are going to see Olivia the band play.
I guess that is it for now, I am sure there are other things that have been going on but nothing is coming to mind right now...
Again sorry it took so long for me to update this.
http://jsmphotos.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)