Broken Toe, Sick, Breathing Machine, Sliced Finger...

Sooo in the past month I have broken a toe, came down with bronchitis, possibly asthma, been on a breathing machine, tons of meds, and sliced some fingers (pretty deep too).

I was home sick one day, and being the stubborn person that I am I decided not to rest, instead do stuff around the house. I picked up the vacuum and it slipped right out of my hand and landed on my toes. I broke my second toe! Yup, hurt like junk and was nice and nasty looking. I'll spare all of you and not post a picture of it.

I was home sick because back in September I got sick, with what I thought was just a cold. A week later it still wasn't going away so I went to the docs. She said I had bronchitis and put me on and inhaler, two antibiotics, and cough medicine with codeine. A week later it still wasn't going away so I went back (mind you during all of this I was still trying to go to work...that didn't go over well), she said its still bronchitis, possibly some allergy and also a good possibility of asthma. So she put me on some steroids along with a shot of them, still on the inhaler and also a breathing machine four times a day (I am now down to two times a day!!). I have been sick for a total of 4 and 1/2 weeks.

Last Sunday night I was cutting fruit and veggies for a cook out and earlier that day sharpened my knives...apparently a little to much because as I'm telling other people that the knives are really sharp I sliced my fingers twice. One of them was pretty deep! All I could do was laugh at my self.

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On Friday my Gramp had a heart attack while at the doctors office getting his pace maker checked out. He had surgery yesterday that lasted about 13 hours or so, and is heavily medicated so that his can rest. I don't have all the details, but its hard being so far away from my family during all of this. All I can do is cry and pray that he makes it through all of this.

I have been extremely fortunate with having all of my grand parents alive and well. This is all so new and hard.

Missions Trip to the Philippines!

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8

Dear,

It’s hard to believe but this coming March will make it two years that I have been living in California! I am currently living in Monterey and working for the Monterey Institute of International Studies as an admissions officer. I have made so many wonderful friends here and have also been attending a great church - Calvary Chapel Monterey Bay (www.calvary.com).

The reason I am writing to you is because I have been presented with an opportunity this January through Calvary Chapel to go on a missions trip to the Philippines! A team of us will be leaving on January 15th and returning on January 23rd. Our time there will be spent doing the following:

~ We will be visiting the following churches: Calvary Chapel Manila, Calvary Chapel Dumaguete, and Calvary Chapel Bacolod.

~While visiting the mentioned churches will be assisting them in any way that we can within the church and in their community.

~During our visit to Calvary Chapel Bacolod we will also share a message of hope with the children and staff at a local orphanage.

I would like to first ask you to be in prayer with me. Below you will find a list detailing specifically what my team and I could use prayer for. I would appreciate it if you would think of me and the requests listed below often in the coming months as I prepare for this exciting trip.

Secondly I would like to ask you to consider supporting me financially. My final payment of $1,750 is due on November 12th, if you would like to do so you can make checks payable to C.C.M.B. (for tax purposes). Also please write the following on the memo line: Jenny Manseau – missions. Checks can be sent to:
Jenny Manseau
P.O. Box 463
Pacific Grove, CA. 93950

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. Upon my return I will post pictures and an update on my websites:

http://jsmanseau.blogspot.com/ and http://www.flickr.com/photos/jennyjene/

Blessings,
Jenny

Prayer Requests:

~The people that we will be ministering to in the Philippines, may receive the freeing and redeeming news of Jesus!

~To be used wherever God desires.

~The children that we will be visiting in the orphanages.

~Flexibility and willingness to do what is needed of us.

~Travel safety and health of team.

Thank you for your support and prayers!

New Camera

© kelly r anderson 2006

Got a new camera last week...holga medium format with a few fun filters. Its been fun to mess around with it a little bit...check out a few photos at: my flickr site

Will be working on getting a new "real" website of my photography up soon.

Been pretty busy lately with work and just life in general. Will do a better update soon!

~Blessings
Jenny

Have you seen me lately? (year of life in review)

I had my iPod on random the other day and "Have you seen me lately?" by the Counting Crows came one and that lyric struck hard. I've lived in California for a whole year now and as of this week I will have lived in Monterey for exactly one year. As I look back over the year I'm kind of amazing at how far I have come, not just distance across the country but in life in general.

In July of '05 I finally decided to apply to photography school...I needed a change of life. I requested the applications from the too schools I was most interested in, Brooks and Hallmark. I held on to them for a little bit, and figured there is no better time than now. In October I was accepted. Moved in with my dad and step-mom in November, then in April I packed my life in two suitcases and headed out west. I came out here blindly...never seeing the school, not place to live really but just went on faith.

At first glance, it seemed perfect. One of the best/well known photography schools in the country, living in southern California, what could be better? Well a lot. The program wasn't what I thought, I couldn't see myself going into that much debt for what I wanted to do in the long run, so after countless tears and re-assurance from my dad that I wasn't a failure, I packed up and moved to Monterey. Its awesome here, still have a great job, great friends, had a boyfriend...now I have a good friend, have an amazing church, and I'm still taking photos!

Before moving out here, life wasn't all that grand. I was bitter, angry, frustrated, depress...pretty much you name, thats what I was. I was like this for many years, some days were better than others and I could play it off like nothing was wrong. Inside all of this was eating me alive and I just couldn't take it. I don't hide my emotions well at all...they are written on my face for the world to see. Anytime something bad happened or I got hurt, I would hold a grudge as long as I possibly could, stubborn should be my middle name. I'm not very patient, I try but its a struggle. I didn't want to live or be like that any more. Forgiveness didn't come so easily to me...it still doesn't. I try so hard to play it off like I am fine and that I'm made of stone and nothing or nobody can hurt me...I'm only fooling myself. I've been hurt, some of which has been pretty bad and has taken a lot longer for me to deal with than others. I try to forgive, but its hard for me. Its a daily choice that I have to make and somedays, I don't feel like making it. I want to crawl under a rock and sleep it away...which doesn't help or change anything. I cry, but that doesn't do much either. I want to forgive, but I feel like its never enough to just be like "ok I forgive ______ for what they did". I still hurt. Why? Why is it easier for some people to forgive than others? I pray for strengh to get threw some days. I pray for wisdom and understanding. Somedays I just want a hug. I want to be "normal". I don't want to hurt. I don't want to put up walls. I wan't to be carefree. I'm not that same person I once was...God has done a lot in me...this I know. I'm not as angry or better. I'm not saying I am perfect and never have bad days, because trust me I do...but not as bad or as often as before. All I know is that my God is patient

So in the past year I:
Got accepted to photography school
Quit my job
Moved to California
Attended photography school
Took out a heck of a lot of money in loans
Dropped out of photography school
Moved to Monterey
Lived off my savings account for 4 months until, no lie, I had 2 cents to my name
Got a job that paid a lot more than my job back East and I'm pretty much doing the same thing
Learned to feel again
Allowed myself to be attracted to someone and actually date them
Had my heart broken
Remained friends with an ex (some days easier than others, but its possible)
Entered a photo contest (didn't win)
Mad some truly amazing friends
Became and Aunt! (to the most handsome little boy)
Photographed three weddings
Got my second tattoo
Watched as friends moved away (and preparing for more to move)
Went to Yosemite and took photos where Ansel Adams did!
Sold between 15-20 of my photographs
Grew closer to God
Been challenged and stretched


Things I'm working on:
Forgiving people and truly meaning it
Realizing I can't run from things
Trying to be patient and love no matter what
Learning to be me
Doing stuff for myself (instead of always putting others first)
Trusting others
Relying on others
Accepting who I am in Christ: that I am loved, forgiven, wonderfuly made, I am HIS, chosen
Let myself be vunerable
Being content


I'm sure there are more things to add to all of this, but its late...

Work in Progress

©jsmanseau 2004

Life as an "adult" isn't all that its cracked up to be. You have more responsibilites (bills), priorities, harder decisions etc. I guess its reality...all part of growing up and can't really escape it, just have to roll with the punches and take each day as it comes. Try to see the good in every situation. When you fall down, get up, dust yourself off and move on. Pretty much guarnteed to make mistakes, so learn from them, try your best not to keep repeating them.

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Why am I a fool around you? I stutter. I get nervous. I have a loss of words. Or too many. I feel inadequate. I feel invisible. I can't approach you. I feel worthless. I am confused. I’ve messed up. I’m emotional. I’m embarrassed. I am fearful. I feel abandoned. I’m broken.

Yet, I am a fool for you. In love. Worthy in your eyes. Beautiful in your eyes. I am all you see. You long for me to approach you. To just talk. To draw near. To call on you. You are there. Made new. I’m forgiven. You have made me. I am restored. I am your desire. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You have never left. You are consistent.

Why do I have a hard time grasping these concepts?

Playing Catch Up

© jenny s manseau 2006

So its been two weeks since my last post, I'll try to catch you up to speed...

I went to the doctor's onFridayy the 14 hoping to get some answers because I was still getting sick every time I ate something...here is my answer: a Parasite! (named Peter ~by my brother in law Jason and Pedro ~by Mondo). I got a parasite from eating some bad food (Chinese) and ended up getting to different meds to kill it. Not a huge fan of these meds. They smelt bad and tasted even worse. I had to take them twice a day for a week and have to be on this kind of strict diet for two weeks (only two more days). I felt like I was livign out side of my self on these meds, not a fun feeling.

Mondo graduate last Thursday. A day of mixed emotions: happy for him that he is done with school but sad to have to say good bye. He is the first of many to leave...hopefully it will get easier as time goes on, but it won't be the same here with out him. His family was in town for the graduation, it was awesome to meet the rest of them and be able to hang out and spend time with all of them. Such an awesome family! Thursday night was a little party at our house for him.

Saturday was the concert! The Subways, Head Automatica, Angels and Airwaves and Taking Back Sunday...ahhh where to begin on that.

The Subways were pretty good, but were on first so had the shortest set unfortunately. Head Automatica was up next...ya pretty much sucked. Angels and Airwaves (who we originally bought the tickets for, and were slightlydisappointedd once we heard theirCDd) ended up being pretty good...I liked them better live then I do theirCDd. The best set of the night...Taking Back Sunday! Great performance, sound, lighting...you name it, it was good. They played all the songs I wanted them to play and at the end did and acoustic version of "Divine Intervention"...it was great. Was getting kind of bored and was hoping that they would make up for it and they did...it was well worth the money spent on the tickets.

Now for the other aspects of the night:
We get there and our tickets have seating assignments on them, and then we are informed "oh there aren't any assigned seats, its first come first serve"....Sweet we thought...floor seats. So we go find a spot and sit around for a bit. I start to look around and think, "man I feel old"...at least I wasn't the only one feeling this way so we went and grabbed normal seats, which ended up being pretty good seats.

There were a lot of younger people there, like high school age kids, which is fine but let me just say if my daughter ever walked out of the house looking like some of these teenagers did I would ground her for life. At one point in the night I said "I feel over dressed" who would of ever thought....wow.

I apparently missed the memo on how to dress for the night:

MEMO
To: All girls/chicks trying to get a guys attention at a show or trying to get the band members attention
Re: What to wear to a concert and how to act for you to be noticed...

~You shortest mini skirt...even if you plan to crowd surf...what could be better than crowd surfing in a mini skirt?
~Your tightest t-shirt that rides way above your belly button...or better yet a bra will do
~A tank top that goes lower than low
~ Any combination of Red, White, Black, Stripes
~If you wear a white shirt/tank don't forget the colored bra
~Dresses with no backs to them
~Even if you don't have the body type for this, oh that is total fine just as long as YOU think you look good
~Please only sand up and try to dance to our music in thebeginningg of our songs
~While "dancing" please twirl your hair and look around to see if anyone is checking you out
~Even if you have no idea who we are and what we sing please come and keep the rest of the audience entertained between sets!

No much exaggerationn here....in all honesty!

Then the ride home...oh what an adventure. I hate the signs in California...there aren't many and if they are there they suck. Trying to find the highway again was just stupid...Dustin didn't want to stop and ask for directions (it goes against his man hood) so said i would go ask...instead he pulled up to some guy "his boy" and asked him. These are the directions we got: Turn around, go left about three miles and go west...sweet, but what sinkin ways is WEST??? We ended up find it and were now on the hunt for a Denny's. Found one a few exits down and pulled off only to find out buy a security guard (since when does Denny's have a security guard???) that they were closed until 4am for "cleaning". So we drive on some more and find another one with the crappiest service but what ever we got food, and that is pretty much all that mattered at that point. All in all it was a good night, good laughs.

So far this week not to much has happened...had my bible study on Monday night. I got an awesome shirt from my dad and stepmom yesterday in the mail...it has to be one of the funniest shirts I have ever seen! Its got a picture of these lobesters driving around in a car looking for a "Lobsta Bah" taking in a New England/Boston accent, and heres what the lobsta's are saying: "Pahk tha cah!", "Who Fahted?", "That's a Wicked Pissah", Irregahhless there's tha Ba", "I need some had licka", "I'm bangin-a-ueey" and the tag line is "Local Cuisine with a spicy accent"....I guess if you aren't from there you probably wouldn't get the humor in this shirt but it made me laugh really hard!! My little sister also sent me a rock with two turtles on it from her trip to Colorado! Shes so sweet.

Tomorrow is a pool party...wooohoo then on Saturday I have another wedding to photograph! Hope it all goes well

Hope you enjoy these stories...

"You are everything I want, 'cause you are everything I'm not" Taking Back Sunday

Sick of being Sick

© jenny s manseau 2006

I'm sick of being sick. It's going on almost a week now that I have been sick like this. Last week had some nasty Chinese food (ahhh my favorite) and was up all night getting sick...figured it would pass but it hasn't yet and I'm going crazy. No matter what I eat doesn't settle well with me. Last time I felt like this was when I was in China and had foodpoisoningg...I can't wait for this to pass. I have a doctors appointment on Friday, so hopefully I'll get some answers out of it.

Off to bed

Desire of My Heart

© jenny s manseau 2006

One of my hearts desire is to mix my photography and missions. Oh how I would love that someday. To go where ever I can take photos and share them with people back home, and maybe just maybe move, inspire or even help someone along the way. Well I might have that option soon enough...In January there is a missions trip to thePhilippiness that I would love to go on and am praying about. I hope I can go...

Yosemite!!

Half Dome
Originally uploaded by JSM Photography.

Ahhhh what a vacation. No planning, just relaxing.

Left Friday after work, drove up to Groveland,CA where our "cabin near a lake" was at. Get there around 10:30 and there are these huge houses...we must be in the wrong part, these are no cabins. Well turns out we weren't, our cabin ended up being a three bedroom house!!! Talk about sweet, I had a king size bed all to my little self, so nice.

So Friday night as we are driving around this place looking for the house I had to pee so badly so Heather and I pulled over to the side of the rode and I went...hoping and praying the guys didn't turn around to come find where we were...thankfully they didn't. Next day we are driving out and not even two seconds from where we pulled over is a portapotty (how ever you spell those nasty things).

Saturday we hung around the house, went to the beach watched the boat parade...went back to the house and hung out some more. Played casino, of course Chris won!

Sunday...YOSEMITE! Beautiful. On the way up we were in a little bit of traffic so of course had to pee again...rand across the street and down the hill a bit, came back up and all the cars were moving right along...saw everyone else pulled over to the side so i ran up to them...think I might of gotten posion ivy or oak...which ever is on this coast.

Yosemite is amazing, minus all the people, traffic and crazy traffic guards who were text messaging instead of paying attention to traffic it was amazing. Pictures are posted at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jennyjene. I think the highlight for me was just being there, taking pictures in the same place that Ansel Adams took many of his famous shots. Wow. Got to see Half Dome, Yosemite Falls, and had lunch at Vernal Falls.

Monday we headed back to the beach for the day, just kicked back and realxed...played more casino, Chris went home Monday night and the rest of us left on Tuesday.

Awesome, relaxing trip over all. Got to see different sides of people, wich is always fun and interesting!

Last night watched the fire works up at DLI and then came home to watch the Boston fire works on t.v...so sad I missed it this year but, what can you do.

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July!
Originally uploaded by JSM Photography.

Happy 4th of July from Monterey...Doesn't really compare to Boston, but its what I've got!

Will post stuff about this weekend in Yosemite soon...