The Run Down

Let me try to catch you all up of whats been happening in my world over the last month and whats coming up.

I got my new camera!! I LOVE it. I got the Nikon D80, and have named it! (oh yes, I figure if I name this and love it, it will be very good to me and not die). So its name is Alsan. He arrived just in time for lots of work...

I was asked to take family portraits by my friends mom. It had been a good ten years since they had family pictures taken. So of course I said. It was my first photos with my new camera! To check them out click here

For the third year in a row I was asked to photograph the Thomas Kinkade Master's Event for the Monterey and Carmel galleries. Three days of photography and about 1,000 shots! Now its editing them down, putting them in order, creating a dvd, adding music and finalizing everything before November 12th. Wish me luck!!!

Next up, a fund raising event for the Monterey Institute of International Studies. The event is tonight at the La Mirada Museum. I was asked to come and take photos from some c0-workers who fell in love with my photographs from the Philippines. At first I was kind of hesitant to respond to their request, because normally is family and close friends that are very excited about my work, not so much people I don't know that well. It was however very flattering to hear their very kind words and excitement about working with me. So that event is tonight, I'm excited and a bit nervous. I think I get like that before anything I do, because I don't want to let anyone down, especially if I'm hired by them.

Tomorrow I'm taking the day off!!!! A bit excited about that. I hope to sleep in a little, get some more time to work on the photos from the Kinkade event. However, I guess its not a full day off, well it is from the office, but I was asked again by my co-workers to come and photograph a Translation and Interpretation forum that will be happening on campus tomorrow afternoon in hopes to get some new photos for the website. So we'll see how those turn out also.

It is about five and a half weeks until I take off to see my sister! Seriously I wish I could explain my excitement of this trip in better ways, but I just don't know how. I finally get to see my sister, brother-in-law and nephew for two and a half weeks!!! The last time I spent even a week with them (actually it wasn't just with them) was last Christmas. Most of our time however was spent with family especially towards the end of my time back home, when my grandfather passed away. I don't think I have spent even a week with just them since they moved from Monterey to Maryland two years ago and I haven't spend this much time with Jed ever! Talk about a really sweet trip this is going to be. Not only to I get to see them, but I get to go to England and we all are obviously going to Italy together.

I've been missing having family around for a while, but in the past few months it has been really bad. I keep thinking of how awesome it would be to live closer to Sara, Jay and Jed someday (hopefully soon). And I pray that it happens. Who knows where they will end up next, but I'm hoping its where I will end up also. It's been harding just seeing my nephew grow up in pictures and video clips online. He's the only one I got (right now), and I wish I was able to see him more. Be able to watch him so they could go and have a date night. I would love to be able to help my sister out when she's sick or Jed's sick and she needs to get stuff done. So we'll see, but again, hopefully soon.

So my friend Topher sent me a message the other day asking what I was doing on December 2nd and if I wasn't doing anything, would I be interested in going on a 8 hour boat ride to take pictures of whales and creatures while being taught by professional photographers! Ummm, heck yes I would!! Boat, Pictures, Sea Creatures, Pictures, need I say any more?? We leave before the sun rises so we can catch that while we are out too!

My birthday is coming up. I crack myself up because every years I get sooooo excited about it for like three months in advance. When it starts to get closer, my excitement goes away. Mind you this lack of excitement has nothing to do with getting older, I could care less. I have no idea but I just am not very excited about it. I don't want anything huge or crazy, just dinner and something really low key and laid back. I'll be the big 26 this year.

I'm doing a bible study online with my sister and a bunch of girls (we are all spread across the U.S. so its pretty cool). We are doing the Beth Moore study on the Fruit of the Spirit. With everything else going on, I've been really behind on it, but trying to catch up. I'm enjoying it and getting kicked in the butt by a lot of it.

Lately I've just been having a hard time, if you see me regularly, you would notice. Hiding my emotions is not my strong suit. Its written all over my face. So Sara suggested I skip to the third video, she says I would relate a lot with it. And oh boy did I ever. Its all about Rejection. One thing that Beth touched on was with all relationships there is the risk of rejection. I can say with everything in me that is why I don't keep many friends. I don't have lasting relationships, and I can barely keep one with God some days. We've all experienced rejection and I'm not saying that I have more than anyone else, but I know for myself that my rejection is extremely deep rooted. It sucks. I have a hard time loving myself, loving others and letting anyone love me. They can say they do but I tend to doubt people. Stubbornness doesn't help much either. I got about halfway threw the video (in tears) and still need to finish the rest (probably need to watch it another 5 times to let it all sink in). I'm a work in progress.

When things go wrong, I try my hardest to run (China, California...where next?). I hate confrontation. I would much rather close my blinds, shut my door, curl up in a ball, sleep it off or look for the next place to go then to ask for help, a huge or open my bible. Knowing very well that its not going to work. When will I learn? I know what to do, but I feel stuck. Its within my grasp yet I don't even try, I just stare. Why? Again...I'm a work in progress

I'm sick of crying.